Approved for Lasik...

Listening to: "好きなのに。" - Takahashi Naozumi

I went to the laser center today for consultation about getting Lasik. I'm a candidate yay, they said my cornea is thick, luckily, since my vision is so bad they'll have to shave most of it off. The thought of surgery still freaks me out, but uh, part of the tests today? The guy put anesthetic eyedrops in my eye then proceeded to poke me square in the eye with a measuring stick. UH? That was beyond freakish, I could see it squishing my eyeball right in front of my pupil. #___# The anesthetic stung a bit, but I'm totally okay with that, and if lasik's going to be anything like that, I'm down. The whole procedure sounds safe enough that I'm not terrified, but I'm still concerned. This also rules out any possibility of going to Knott's before I leave, or well, maybe RIGHT before I leave and not anytime sooner than that. No strenuous activity after surgery he said, right.

On other notes, my mother is driving me insane again. What kind of parent berates their children for being happy with what they have? Isn't it usually the other way around? I'm happy living a simple life, enough to support myself, isn't that good enough? Seriously, I don't desire an ungodly amount of money and I don't care for material possessions, why on earth does she WANT me to??? What planet is this woman from, really??? The only material possession I probably want and try to acquire is a good computer system. Beyond that? I can settle for anything, really. She brought up the whole car thing, which, if you ask me, is the stupidest possession to try to get me to want, because as long as the car runs and doesn't break down and cost me trillions of dollars to fix every month, I'm good. She says I'm bad for being satisfied, WHAT THE HELL? There's no harm in wanting more, but by no means will I crave after extraneous things just because it's BETTER. She says I lack ambition and drive, sure, maybe I do, and she's never bothered to stop and wonder why I'm like that. IT'S BECAUSE SHE NEVER GAVE ME WHAT I WANTED, SO WHY BOTHER STRIVING FOR THINGS I'LL MOST LIKELY NEVER ATTAIN? Personally, I'm DAMN GLAD that I turned out this way, even if I probably felt like my life was unfair never getting things I wanted. I've been taught to appreciate what I have, and I learned that lesson well. SO WHY IS SHE COMPLAINING WHEN SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S RESPONSIBLE? And what's so bad about not striving for money and possessions? Once again, I ask, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER????

I understand the world works on money, and I'm not saying I don't need money to survive. As long as I have enough to live and find ways to amuse myself, I'm good. I'm low maintenance that way, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Life unfolding

At first impression, people think I'm crazy. On second thought, they all realize that it's a great thing for me. And you know? I felt the same way too. It's crazy, but it's also Great! I'm jumping out into an unknown place with the promise of my dream job, and while I'm scared, it's a fear worth braving. I'll be working as a sound designer for the sequel of my favourite game of all time, and I'll be away from the one who drives insane. I know it sounds like a silly priority, but getting away from her has always been the number one thing to take care of on my list. SO! I'm doing it, I'm going, going, (not quite gone yet but soon to be) GONE!

I'm leaving behind a lot of things, and I'm not talking about possessions. My car, all the goodies I hoard to keep my sanity, and everything I've worked hard to acquire, none of those matter. I am leaving behind familiarity with this place, all the people who mean a lot to me, and probably what psychs me out the most, my pregnant friend. AHH! I know Saa laughed at me and said it's not my child, but I'm just as jittery, if not more, than the expectant mother. I try not to worry her about this issue, because, well, she doesn't need to have another stressor. Luckily, I know she's well taken care of and she'll be along just fine.

On the topic of leaving people behind, there's a certain somebody who doesn't "know" about it yet, although I'm pretty sure she does and just hasn't said anything. I gave her plenty of preparation for this news, actually, so let's just hope she doesn't overreact. Missing people will be an issue for me. I'll be nearer to Seki, no matter how ridiculous the idea! But I'm not a social person anyway, being alone is all right for me. I spend Miyata's birthday alone every year, don't I?

There is still so much to take care of and plan before I leave. Tomorrow, I'll find out whether or not I'm eligible for Lasik. Eep! I better not miss VBS because of this though, I was really looking forward to it too.

I haven't done a list of Thankful Three's in so long, time to pick that up again. Even if for just one day.

Wednesday Thankful Three
1. The opportunity to have my dream job!
2. The ability to feel, no matter which way it flows.
3. Faith in God to take care of me.

Ah, Nao song so beautiful and yet so painful. "Suki na no ni...."

What Dreams May Come...

Two super, fantastic people in one month, how much better can it get!? I’m so stoked, I’m bewildered, I’m jittery! I never knew that looking for a job would be SO exciting and rewarding!!! All I can do now is hope and pray that I didn’t disappoint and that I will indeed get a shot at this position. My dad finally leaked to my mother about it, who didn’t seem too happy about it at all. Hm, need to talk to her. I won’t know for sure about this job until the end of the week, and I’m trying to keep my expectations low so I won’t be disappointed. But really. Me, disappointed in this? NO WAY. This journey has been SO exciting thus far, even if it has to end this week, I’m already so thankful for this experience! Of course I want more, oh I want the job, I want it more than I can express, but I will praise God regardless of the outcome.

This is so exciting!!! I don’t even think I can eat dinner tonight, I’m so shaken up (but in a good way)!

Pray for me, and may God guide me in the path He wishes me to follow.

And you know what’s even better? I may even get to work with the website!!! HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?!?

Camp Cedar Falls = A Blessing

Listening to: "You're in my Heart (Short Size)" - Miyano Mamoru

Despite being sick and having my doubts about going on the retreat, I'm so glad I decided to go afterall. It was so wonderful, and while people are never quite the highlight for me, the location definitely was! Oh goodness, I haven't hiked like that since Astrocamp!!! Let's not talk about how long ago that was, really. The scenery is breathtaking, the trails are tremendously fun, the forest is majestic, the streams and waterfalls cool and refreshing, the breeze a gift. Everything, everything there was beautiful. Even the bugs. God's love surrounds us, His creation awe-inspiring and a blessing to us all. As I walked back from the trail at the end of today's hike, a strong breeze blew through, and I just knew it was God. Most of the time, I see so little good in this world, but up there, everything is made crystal clear, and I know God is there, here, everywhere. The running streams relaxed aching feet, tired heads, dirty hands, and provided fun and refreshment. I thought, if I had to live out in nature, with my intense phobia and dislike for bugs and dirtiness, I would love it regardless. And as for being sick? The fresh mountain air did wonders for me. My throat feels infinitely better, and while I don't really know how my condition is, I certainly feel better for it. All that hiking invigorated me like nothing else, and I discovered that just two pieces of beef jerky can revitalize me after a strenuous hike. Go beef!

The best part of it all? STARGAZING. Oh. Oh. Oh. It might be even better higher up, but, oh. This layer of heaven, in all its majesty, glorifying God up above and around, showing us proof that there indeed is order in the universe and that there has to be a loving, loving Creator who made it all. There is nothing better, calmer than to be in the dark and under the night sky. The beauty of the stars makes me feel like expressing more than anything, my aspirations and thoughts, my emotions and my prayers. I feel exposed almost, in the dark, but at the same time, it is the only place that makes me feel like it's okay to let go and let God. Ah, praise be to Him who created all things, heaven and earth and beyond. Blessed be we, His people, those who are Loved.

Sugu no aitai, aitai, kimi ni...

KAJI IS FREAKY!!! STOP FREAKING ME OUT KAJI! XDDD Ah but, as K-chan says, love stalker boy this song. THIS SONG, A'ITE???

Now, back to work anew tomorrow and to schedule a phone interview. X3 Excited!

Baked

Apple cider cookies! They were supposed to be biscuits, but maybe there's too much sugar or something. Guess they taste like sugar cookies. :3

I made bite-sized chocolate biscuit things for church. They're not sweet enough, I think, but I hope people will eat them. Will take a picture of the tin I put them in when I get home. I'm sad, however, as my parents will be back on Sunday. No more cooking, no more baking when they're back. It makes me so sad as I've been having so much fun cooking lately. Maybe tonight I'll make a few corn and ham biscuits...



These look better than they taste. Unlike the ones I made for church, these have one chocolate chip apiece and, while a bit fluffy, are bitter from the cocoa powder and not enough sugar.

Okay. Back to work. :P

Teiou thanks us

Plug: Moriberu BLOG: Thank's AX2009!

AWWWW Teiou!!! Thank you for making a post in english! I'm glad he's back home to his baby heehee. Guh, how spastic Teiou makes me. Honestly, in the entire world, there are only three people I would be absolutely honoured to meet: 1) Queen Elizabeth II, 2) Sir Paul McCartney, and 3) Morikawa Toshiyuki. Meeting Teiou made me so starry eyed and in awe that, I feel so blessed that he came to visit us!!

In other words, I had hell dealing with internet at work today. Everything's fixed now, an hour and ten minutes later at least.

Melon biscuits!

Listening to: "Ancient Secret" - Nanase Hikaru



Oh Kimi, you have got to come so I can make these again. ♥

Cabbage salad

Listening to: "Rakuen ~Fanatic~" - Kusao Takeshi

Mmm my baby sure sings a deliriously good song to accompany my...

CABBAGE SALAD!



Yup. Originally, I was chopping up stuff for okonomiyaki, but it got too late and I decided to eat the chopped stuff, which ended up tasting quite good! So, salad it is instead of okonomiyaki. Has frozen teriyaki chicken and a bit of ham, mmm. If I really crave egg later, I'll crack an egg on it, stir, and microwave. 8D

I really want to make biscuits. But. No milk left, only soy milk. O_O

Still basking in the afterglow of meeting Teiou. Sigh. "Love Me Tender" will be another sweet, sweet memory of mine...

In less than 24 hours = TEIOU

I'm so excited!!! In less than 24 hours, I will be sitting in the same hall as Morikawa Toshiyuki, our BL (beloved LOL) TEIOU! It just can't get more exciting than that, can it? Actually it can, because I will be there with so many of my dear friends, and the mass of ENERGY and LOVE that we will vibrate is going to make everything even more spectacular. I'M SO EXCITED!!! I also have a billion people to call and meet up with tomorrow before the panel, which is just... crazy. XD It's crazy just how many friends of mine are super excited about Teiou as me, and it's crazy AWESOME!! GO TEIOU!

His blog has a self shot and airport pictures. I'm ***so*** jittery.

Okay, mass rant aside, here is my pending to-do list for AX. Crossposted for my reference.

(Gah, I wish there were a extended text function for Blogspot.)

Day 0 - Wednesday
- buy more white bandage tape, cry...
- work, get off at 6pm
- call up Saku/Velessa regarding guest reception tickets
- bake biscuits for Teiou :P
- finish up okonomiyaki batter, or buy dinner for the sibs
- pack car (don't forget shoes and sheets!)
- sleep before midnight :(

Day 1 - Thursday
- main costume: Minamoto no Yorihisa
- leave by 6:30am
- meet up with Saku
- badge pickup with Mikey at 9am
- contact: Sangah, Diane, Young, Velessa, Sunshine, Luna, Bonnie, Kain(?)
- buy guest reception tickets, if still needed (need 6 total)
- Kouga Yun panel (y/n?)
- look for the twins
- Morikawa Toshiyuki panel @ 12:30pm
- autograph session
- call Kimi, find Andrew & bro
- Vampire Knight gathering @ 5pm, LACC Site #1 (y/n?)
- dealer's room
- artist's alley to find people
- get parking permit at the place we're staying

Day 2 - Friday
- guest reception (most likely Friday morning...)
- main costume: Mitsurugi Heishirou
- bring Shoujou and/or Yankumi costumes as spare
- dealer's room
- Tales of gathering @ 1pm, LACC Site #1 (y/n?)
- Disney gathering @ 2pm, Nokia Theatre (y/n?)
- open mic karaoke, whenever

Day 3 - Saturday
- main costume: Yunoki Azuma, ala metrosexual Corda group
- maybe bring Mitsurugi costume for gathering (y/n?)
- Video Game gathering, @ 11am, LACC Site #1 (we should, Corda and all)
- Kingdom Hearts gathering @ 12pm, West Hall Entrance (y/n?)
- Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core gathering @ 1pm, West Hall Lobby (y/n?)
- Soul Calibur gathering @ 2pm, Outside South Hall Entrance (y/n?)
- Air Gear gathering @ 3pm, LACC Site #2 (y/n?)
- dealer's room
- open mic karaoke, whenever
- masquerade, IF anyone wants to go

Day 4 - Sunday
- main costume: Yamaguchi Kumiko (if attending at all..)
- Knott's Berry Farm with Saku (y/n? when?)
- Final Fantasy gathering @ 2pm, West Hall Entrance (y/n?)
- autograph session if Teiou's still here


Things are majorly confusing after Thursday, so we'll see what happens. Oh I'm going to be SO exhausted on Monday at work!!! 8D

But well worth it. I can't wait to see all you!! If anyone hasn't told me they're going yet, now's the time to send me your contact info! And Teiou, MATTERU YO!!!♥♥♥♥♥