Lack of entries!

The middle of the week is usually the slowest at work. While Fridays are busy, I'm thinking about taking the day off. Actually, I don't really want to, me with my money worries, but it's Cynthia's birthday so I think I'll grant her wish and spend time with her instead. I don't forsee myself taking any more days off unless absolutely necessary, so I think I can afford one day off. Right? I have to convince myself somehow. ::cringes::

I saw a cute t-shirt online a few days ago. "I'll be Bach," it says, with a picture of Bach half normal and half terminator. ::laughs:: Oh the dorkiness, oh our governor! 8D

There's been a decline in blog entries lately, mostly due to the fact that I'm more or less busy at work now and have things to do after work. I miss ranting and raving! (I'm sure nobody misses reading it though.)

End pointless post. :P

Horrible Customers

Listening to: "Yuuniji no Awaki Himegoto" - Hoshi Souichirou

I've been having a rather good day until this sour taste invaded my mouth. Let's start on a positive note, shall we? I had a hard time waking up this morning, but I was peachy fine when I got to work. There was a lot to do this morning, which always makes me happy. Also, I was looking forward to lunch. Mmm, Chipotle! The Choo's gave me a Chipotle giftcard this weekend and I was more than excited to have a real lunch today!! So off I went to get a burrito bowl, and when the register rang up the balance after my meal, my jaw dropped. I'm. Utterly. Floored. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I cannot thank you guys enough, this will feed me for a month or more, THANK YOU!!!!! Wah, I'm speechless.

Now for the bad part. Despite being rather chipper, one phone call disrupted it all. An eBay customer who placed a small order made a big fuss about us not shipping to PO boxes. Honestly, it's not even our policy, it's FedEx's. Yet, this guy was screaming and cursing at me while I was trying to listen and help him. In the end, he wanted his money back, which is fine, but he kept screaming. I'm not at fault nor should I care, but I got so incredibly angry. Even though I kept telling myself to let him rave and just proceed with cancelling his order as per his request, my blood started boiling. My stomach hurts really badly now. My body reacts quicker than I can tell myself to ignore it, and now I feel a bit like curling over and dying. Urgh.

Hirakawa Danna

Listening to: "The Power of Love" - Il Divo

Ufufufu, Hiradai's Danna is WAY TOO CUTE!! His proposal? Not manly at all, ironically Ishida's was more manly. ::dodges tomatoes from Kimi:: (Or not ironic, depends on who you're talking to hehe.) But I love Hiradai's so much! His words made me mooshy, and when he started crying, I wanted to cry too because he wouldn't stop. Nakanaide! Sigh, am I hopeless or what.

For the past few days, I've been thinking really hard about the first number of the transformation list. Looking back to things I discussed with people, I'm still keeping up these impossible standards, darn! Must learn to let people blunder and leave them be! Yet, today I thought, should this apply to my workplace as well? I shouldn't tolerate mistakes at work, whether with myself or someone else, or at least be trying to fix them! That's a tough one for me, learning when to back off and when to push my limits at work. Today, my orders rolled in rather nicely, and I found myself obsessively ordering and checking over my work multiple times and in different ways. Great, as if I'm not finicky enough, I'm picking up on my boss' paranoid habits too. Where should the balance be, whether it is work or personal matters, in regards to having a set of high yet manageable standards that don't stress me out?

I know I said I'd do one at a time, but I think I'm going to go crazy if I'm only thinking of one at a time. ::grimaces:: I like multi-tasking.

#2
I NOW RELEASE my fear of losing control and becoming irrational.

Believe it or not, I tried this one out very recently. The unknown is terribly frightening!!! Yes, I did this one subconsciously, but the fear of not being in control of my every action and not being in line with my normal behaviour patterns did not go away. When does fear becoming unmanageable? I still allowed myself to be impulsive, that counts for something, right? Yet, immediately after, I was reminded of why I absolutely do not allow myself to lose control. It's upsetting.

Okay, that was one big ball of negativity right there, shift gears! I had more nanchatte tonkotsu ramen tonight. HAPPY!!!! Allow me to be mindless for today's Thankful Three.

Monday Thankful Three
01. Nanchatte Tonkotsu Ramen.
02. Hiradai and Ishida-san's Danna Catalogue CD.
03. Il Divo.

Random, is suspicion a good or bad thing? I know it varies with the situation but... overall???

Enthusiasm rocks! (As does Il Divo!)

Listening to: "Haruka, Kimi no Moto he" - Miyata Kouki, Seki Tomokazu, Takahashi Naozumi

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
--Charles Kingsley

Yes yes YES!!! Enthusiasm is wonderful beans! I can't imagine life without it. Happiness Project, thanks!

In other news, Il Divo has taken me by storm, and I am absolutely KO'd by these awesome, awesome men. Gosh. I'm really tempted to buy all their CDs now. And I mean *really* tempted, as I spent a few hours watching the video clips on their official website and recording off them.

Plug: http://www.ildivo.com

So. Much. Love. Dropdead, awesome vocalists who just knock your socks off. I am *so* determined to see them in concert now. Will probably go see them in Las Vegas if possible, or going up to find Saa and Kimi for their San Jose performance. We'll see. *_*

Weekend summary

Listening to: “Ajisai no Yume de Aimashou” - Miyata Kouki

I took an old Angel Sanctuary character quiz, and while I had Michael at first and then Setsuna for second, this time it flipped. WHYYYY I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE SETCHAN!!! I’m not very Mikachan though. ::shrugs:: Oh I miss Angel Sanctuary much. So much love, Yuki-sensei makes me flail. XD

Yesterday, I had a wonderful Valentine’s Day with everybody at church. No special Valentine for myself (I got rejected! Why am I still happy?), but it’s okay, why have one Valentine when I can have EVERYBODY!!! ♥ To all the church youth and the adults too, I love you all so very much!! John’s sermon was mostly a recap of that Danish movie I love that we watched in MacKenzie’s english class. (OH HOW I MISS HER!) Mmmm good food memories. Everybody left for the most important part of the movie, and although Ms. MacKenzie had explained it to us, it was still better to watch it myself. Oh the food looked so good, Bonnie said she could see me drooling from outside the classroom. 8D

Anyway! We had this agape love feast for church, and boy did it feel like I was eating air. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but I need meat! Somebody managed to do the impossible, ahem, and Alvin gritted his teeth at me for it while congratulating him for convincing me to eat tofu. ::laughs:: I did some last minute accompaniment and got some time alone to pray in the sanctuary, for which I was very thankful. I found it easier to be lighthearted and chipper after that. Our youth orchestra practice was decent too, I was very happy to hear that we can at least come together. A bunch of us, youth and some adults, went to Uncle Enoch’s house afterwards to chill. Oh GOODNESS, it was then I discovered the LOVE that is Il Divo. IL DIVO BANZAI!! My goodness, my goodness!! Urs from Switzerland is my favourite pretty boy, but they ALL sound SO SO SO good. I was swooning in front of the TV, and my music-loving companions were as happy as me. XD Perhaps I’m a tad silly, but I’m with friends, if I can’t be silly during these times, when can I be so giddy? When touring the house upstairs, we ended up taking a lot of silly pictures on Jonathan’s new iBook, sweet photo booth application! My PS2 seems to be very malfunctional now, so we didn’t get to DDR, woes for Joseph and me! It’s okay, Uncle Enoch taught us a game of Rook. It was pretty fun, but not enough time playing to get better at it. After dropping off people, I had a short talk with my cousin. How happy I am, to reunite with loved ones! He remains an open ear to hear matters I can’t really discuss about outside of family, and boy does it ease my burden. ♥ 変じゃない、俺とあなた、でしょう？ (Why am I an 俺?)

Because I got home late yesterday, my mother yelled at me upon stepping into the house. She’s a basket case, screaming at me to not shower because it will wake my dad. If you’re so concerned with not waking him, how about not screaming loud enough that the neighbors might hear? So I showered when I woke up instead, then proceeded to fuzz out until going out to dinner. Crepes are good, but takoyaki is better! 章魚焼！ So much yums. Janee had taiyaki today, and wished to have mine where I wish to have taiyaki. ::sporfles:: Miles and two time zones away, we’re having 焼’s. Maybe another of our friends had yakitori today! Or tamagoyaki! Okay no more, my brain’s fried for the night. ^_^

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Listening to: "A Whole New World" - Brad Kane, Lea Salonga

Happy St. Valentine's Day!!!

I wish everybody a fantastic Valentine's Day, filled with happiness, love, sparkles, and bubbles!! Fluffiness included. ♥ Be happy, whether for yourself or for others, for this is the day to celebrate love in the world. God is Love, with the capital L, and what a wonderful world it is!! "A Whole New World" indeed, that God renews for us daily, every hour, every minute, every second. May we learn to cherish every moment of our lives and strive to love others as God loves us. ♥

It has come to my attention that I've been slacking off on my Thankful Threes again, so here it is. I'll deal with my transformations later.

Sabbath & Valentine's Thankful Three
01. God is Love, and Love is with us all. Amen!
02. Happy couples everywhere, you make my Valentine's worthwhile.
03. Church friends, for so many reasons.

Church has become such a surprising but centered part of my life this past year or so, and I am happy for it. Honestly, just a few years back, I dreaded stepping onto church grounds again for fear of sadness and bitterness washing over me, I would have never imagined myself looking forward to going to church every Sabbath now.

#25
I NOW AFFIRM that life is good and unfolding in miraculous ways.

A miracle has happened to me, and I acknowledge it with enthusiasm. What a wonderful God we have, mending not only my mind but also my heart! I'm bursting with happiness to think of all the wonderful things that have happened to me since I came back to church. I cannot say that I'm on completely peachy terms with God, but I have made so much progress since my dark years. God has shown that He still cares through the people at church, and I cannot be prouder to say that I am a part of this church. Even if I'm not a member on paper, I belong to God and with these special people. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

My heart is free to love, and love I will! Even if I don't succeed, try and try again!

I was so afraid
Now I realize
Love is never wrong, and so it never dies
There's a perfect world
Shining in your eyes
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you
They'd know love will find a way...
-- "Love Will Find a Way" - Lion King II

First Layout for Blogspot

Yatta! The template for Blogspot is surprisingly easy to format, so voila, a simple layout. Hirakawa Daisuke in all his adorableness. Maybe I should convert this for my rambles too, except that I'm way too fond of Yunoki over there right now haha.

The pictures are a bit washed out, yes I did that on purpose, but it's nagging on my nerves. But. Impossible standards. Not holding myself to them, nope! I'll settle for this! ::exhales slowly::

Transformation #1, a trial

Listening to: "Oh My Love" - Ishikawa Hideo

#1
I NOW RELEASE holding myself and others to impossible standards.

How does one release holding everybody to impossible standards once those standards have been in place for a very long time? There is one person I probably should start with aside from myself, yet unfortunately, it clashes with my current plans. Not to make excuses, but this situation is a little, how shall I put it, delicate. If I stop holding up these impossible standards, I'll be accused of giving false hope. Oh right, the other transformations warn me about what I'm going to write next. I should not be giving out mixed signaling, no matter how much my nature leads me to be indirect.

I CAN'T HELP BUT RATIONALIZE MYSELF!!! It's okay, that one's for another day. /interlude

In short, I think this first transformation is going to take me at least a week or two to be internalized. I wonder if I should move onto an easier one first.

Today was a mix of really frightening possibilities and some overly estatic news. Hehehe, ESTATIC! So happy! My goal is to find more happy couples to dote on, and don't tell me I'm being lame because people being happy together is made of sparkley fluff. Perchance I'll find my very own fluff, but for now, I'm so excited!! I can't wait to hear about everyone's weekend, no no I'm not being nosy, I'm just happy!

Right, the transformation bit, ahem. By the end of today, I have a small list to start with:

1. Lack of thought is okay depending on the person.
2. Being open and straightforward is a good thing.

Okay, so my list only has two things, but it's a start, right? T_T I need to... learn to... accept... that people can be honest like that and not let it strike me as stupid!!!

This is so difficult!!!!!!!

Oh this post fails. Must revisit later. On a totally irrelevant note, I really like the pictures on seiyuu blogs, especially when Teiou has Ishikawa pictures ufufufu~!

Type One Transformations

Listening to: "Raindrop Prelude Op.28 No.15" - Frederic Chopin

Okay. Since Thanksgiving, Saa gave me this wonderful sheet of resolutions (so to speak) for eneagram types. Initially, looking at this after figuring out my type made me cringe like no tomorrow, and while I glanced at it every so often, I didn't try to adhere to it. SO NOW! Since blogs are helpful for referencing, I'll type them out for mine. I am... type one. Hehe. Not entirely, but very strongly anyway.

Transformations for Personality Type One

1. I NOW RELEASE holding myself and others to impossible standards.


2. I NOW RELEASE my fear of losing control and becoming irrational.


3. I NOW RELEASE my fear of being condemned for being wrong.


4. I NOW RELEASE refusing to see my own contradictions.


5. I NOW RELEASE rationalizing my own behaviour.


6. I NOW RELEASE obsessing about things I cannot change.


7. I NOW RELEASE all bitterness and disappointment with the world.


8. I NOW RELEASE feeling that other people's beliefs and values threaten mine.


9. I NOW RELEASE believing that I am in a position to judge others.


10. I NOW RELEASE driving myself and others to be perfect.


11. I NOW RELEASE ignoring my own emotional and physical distress.


12. I NOW RELEASE feeling angry, impatient, and easily annoyed.


13. I NOW RELEASE fearing and disowning my body and my feelings.


14. I NOW RELEASE allowing my desire for order and efficiency to control my life.


15. I NOW RELEASE automatically focusing on what is wrong with things.


16. I NOW RELEASE feeling that it is up to me to fix everything.


17. I NOW AFFIRM that I can allow myself to relax and enjoy life.


18. I NOW AFFIRM that the best I can do is good enough.


19. I NOW AFFIRM that I am grateful that others have many things to teach me.


20. I NOW AFFIRM that I can make mistakes without condemning myself.


21. I NOW AFFIRM that my feelings are legitimate and that I have a right to feel them.


22. I NOW AFFIRM that I treat others with tenderness and respect.


23. I NOW AFFIRM that I am gentle and forgiving of myself.


24. I NOW AFFIRM that I am compassionate and forgiving of others.


25. I NOW AFFIRM that life is good and unfolding in miraculous ways.

Just typing out that list gave me horrible shudders. That list looks so impossible for me as a whole, but one by one, I think I can do it!

So I will work on that list, one bullet at a time. Next post, I'll start with #1!!! People, if you catch me not following this list of transformations, notify me if you so please. Onegaishimasu!!!!

Merchandise: Desire vs. Need?

::headdesks:: I. Cannot. Afford. To. Buy. Anything. Right. Now. But. AHHHHH!!!

Drama CD Ginga Roido Cosmo X in Hero Cross Line
http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=MACZ-4

Moonlight Mask (Gekko Kamen) Bigins Satan no Tsume
http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=BJCA-114

DUDE, NOT FAIR!! Seki, you are too awesome, Moonlight Mask? With Miyata and Ishida? BWUAHAHAHA!!! And my beloved Cosmo X!!!! SEKI-SAN, SUGOI!!!!!!

I haven't even been able to buy the NeoRomance Duet CDs nor Seki's LOVARIOUS yet. Woe is me, but the show must go on. AND I'M BEING LEFT BEHIND!

Okay, no more wailing. Desire for material goods can drive one insane. But but but, MUSICS! I should be thankful for what I have already. Looking to support Seki should be secondary, gotta take care of myself first, especially in these shabby economic times. I'm thankful to have my job, and while it doesn't pay well, I do have job security until I decide to leave anyway.

One of these days, I'll have to go back to watch the first season of the Gokusen drama. It's too good not to revisit, and watching Shin mature and fall in love makes me wonder if Yankumi will ever go back to Shin in the dramas. Probably not, unfortunately, even though the manga makes us happy as clam. Shin for the next Oedo leader, banzai! XD For now, fanfiction will suffice.

Aww, I just came across a cute quote on a website:

          Smile! It's a wonderful day because you're in it!

To all the wonderful people in my life, thank you. I can smile and live another glorious day because you're in it. ♥

Moon River

Listening to: "Moon River" - Audrey Hepburn

The moon is out despite the rainclouds, and a river is flowing in my driveway. My mind is swimming, and my heart is flying. Ahh, if only I could always feel this way.

Timeless classics. My mind was swimming in them today, mostly triggered by the sudden downpour. I felt an urge to burst outside and sing and dance to "Singing in the Rain." Is that weird? I think I'm rather happy today. And on that note, I saw a billboard for Coca-Cola today that claimed they had bottled happiness. ::laughs::

I keep missing birthdays, d'oh!

Happy birthday to Nakao Ryuusei!

中尾さん、お誕生日おめでとう！ I'm always late, but I hope he had a great day yesterday!!

Happy birthday to Yoshino Hiroyuki!!

よっちん～！ He's 35 now, I think? Oi, young one isn't he, younger than Seki and me Miyata! XD Hope he had a great day too, and may we hear more of his squeaky voice? XD

Speaking of, I wonder when Vitamin Z is coming out. Ooh, tingles. Ooh Corda mo. もっと...

The one dampening thing about the rain is that our youth picnic got postponed for two weeks because Valentine's Day is next week and we have to prepare for the agape dinner, they said. We do? What are we preparing...? I'm curious as to what kind of foods we'll have.

While I'm on the topic, the hype of Valentine's Day is getting to me. I want to burst out in melodies and cookies! Okay, so that's kind of scary, but ah, who cares if it's commercialized, it's still a good reason to celebrate. I have friends who dub it "single's day" instead, but I say, hey, it's not necessary to focus on having a partner or not but rather on the fact that there is love all around us! I love to see my friends happy with their significant others, and while I do feel a little bittersweet on the matter, it makes me happy that the people I care about have found a special love for themselves. Tonight, I helped my friend with a Valentine's gift for her boyfriend, and I'm glad that I can help her out after ramen and Coldstone. Makes me wish I could do the same for someone too, but alas. Perhaps one day, I'll be allowed to show how I feel too. For now, I'm glad the past remains a memory and not an open wound. This would be the first time I've had a clear mind for Valentine's day, so heck, I'm going to celebrate!!! Anyone want a late Christmas card Valentine's card from me? 8D

Congratulations to Sam and Kat!!!!

Listening to: "White Nights" - Kishio Daisuke

Congratulations to Sam and Kat on the arrival of baby Kristen Aiyoong!!!

WAH WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!! I'm so estatic!!! Praise God, a new life has been born into this world!! Mother and child are doing well according to Sam's email, and I am positively bouncing off the walls. SO MUCH HAPPINESS!!! Ahh life is a miracle, let us join in celebration and squeal like crazy pray!!!! ^___________^

A healthy celebration

Listening to: "君がいるこの胸の楽園" - Onosaka Masaya

Oh this song is sad, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU TOO J.D.! No I don't play NeoAngelique.. Wait a minute, I do.... #__#;;

AHEM! Let us ignore the Rene song that is drawing me in too.

First off, I had a wonderful week. I made my rounds calling everybody for New Year's, and had a long but super busy week. Work is good, I don't like being idle. There were some distressing news, as we know, but it seems like people are pulling through, and that's great!

Our church had a new year celebration yesterday, and boy was it AWESOME! I seriously love our church, it was one bang of a celebration, complete with games, skits, dancing, singing, fellowship, pictures, and FOOD!!!!! In light of my paycheck being cut, it seems that God is providing me "food" in mysterious ways. It makes me think really hard about things that, perhaps, I shouldn't be picking apart. Ah well. ^_^ Then to wrap up the night, a bunch of us went off to DDR later. Good exercise! Joseph is awesomesauce, clearing stages for me and making records for extra points so I can buy more stuff from the shop. He cracks me up, knowing that I wouldn't accept that Akira's partner is Alice, haha. Gamer knows gamer, no matter how bizarre a gamer I am. VOICE AND EYECANDY GAMER! XD

So ah, good food, good friends, good exercise, good everything. Thank You for a wonderful week, what a way to kick off the Ox year. I miss my Rat, I always do, but the Ox carries the Rat, deshou? ^_^

Sometimes I wonder at these brainless itinerary posts of mine...