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I have bad chills ALL over today. Yesterday, there was the news about the family of seven that killed themselves, and this morning there's a scary accident on the 10 that killed two men and severely injured a third. Is this what I was reading about, when we're supposed to get a dose of "real life?" Oh it feels real all right, and I can't shake off this bad vibe. Other headlines include how California health insurers are discriminating against women and a Lutheran high school in Riverside is ruled to be allowed to expel students based on their sexuality. Wow. That's a mouthful right there. I'm disturbed, to say the least. Everyday, a mass of tragedies occur, but I've never been so aware of them as I am today. Where is all the good news? C'mon people, I know there's some out there, stop hiding it! What I can find, however, is that Obama's on the move. There's quite a few tidbits, but they seem to bode well thus far. There was also another headline about fertility, some woman gave birth to octuplets. Ouch, but hey, the babies are all okay! Personally, that many kids at once scares the living daylights out of me, especially when the following article on MSNBC said that the mother hopes to breastfeed them. All of them. Plug: Minnesota family can relate to octuplet birthCongratulations to the couple in California, you have eight little oxen! 8D I haven't done my thankful posts in a while, so today's the day I catch up! Wednesday Thankful Three01) Rosemary + lavender + chamomile + tikuanyin tea. 02) God = Love. 03) Not being swamped with sadness after something I did on purpose. On that last one... PRAISE GOD, I'm cured!! HONTOU NI!!!
Listening to: Random music over there --> >> http://ameblo.jp/tacit/entry-10199015896.html Reading Yuuchan's short but adorable blog entry makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She's so cute! It helps me remember to notice the little things in life and appreciate it. So I'll enjoy my tea and pretend I'm enjoying it with her. Ahh, just imagining her broad and content smile after sipping can last me a day. Hopeless, any? Which reminds me, is she in Haruka4? I heard Torikou is, but whether that's actually news or not is beyond me since I haven't bothered to keep up with the Haruka-verse. Anyway, our seriously short-staffed Tuesdays and Thursdays still prove to be slow. I really am happy that I have my thermos and my tea. Is it okay to daydream over my Urban Lover + tikuanyin tea? Oh, allow me to explain the ridiculous name of this tea. It's so fragrant, composed of lavender, rosemary, and chamomile, and the weird Chinese company dubbed it Urban Lover. How that name makes any sense, I have absolutely no clue because it strikes me more as a depressant (as opposed to a stimulant) instead. So unless "urban lovers" are all knocked out from sleepy herbs, that name doesn't fit one bit. I'm wondering if Yuuchan's blog name has anything to do with her status. She seems all right in her posts, but I can't help but be a little worried for her... MOU! Ne ne, Saa, sorry about last night. I'll call you tonight? ^_^
Listening to: "Denkou Sekkai no Koi" - Takahashi Naozumi Before I start babbling about my day that nobody cares about, let me say what's important... Happy Lunar New Year, everybody!!!T'is the year of the ox, and may this year be blessed and properous! I'm kicking the year off with prayers so that I might continue it for the rest of the year. ^___^ Today is made of happy, surprisingly, for a Monday. It's a personal matter why I'm happy, but I was also happy for a decent amount of work, feeding off negative energy in the office, reading the most interesting Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, napping in the parking lot in a perfect balance of cold and hot temperatures, and getting a bonus. Oh yes, somebody finally noticed how hard I work, damn right. I'm happy for it! Doesn't make up for the paycheck getting cut, but hell, whenever there is extra, it's good. So I ate Del Taco with Cynthia for dinner! ::gets bricked:: Yeah, not the best food to consume, but hey, better than nothing. Perhaps I'll get flatbread salad from Quiznos tomorrow! *_* Practice with Cynthia and Steven tonight proved useful. I'm hopeful that they have at least the first of the three songs in the medley down. MOST HOPEFUL! I'm a little upset that Steven has no idea what notes he's playing on the guitar, which renders my help rather useless, so thank goodness for YouTube tutorials. Cynthia just needs practice so she can speed up, and all will be well. Whew. I'm proud to say that I finished my new year greeting rounds tonight!! Didn't catch five groups of people, but I left them all messages so it should be fine. Whew! I would've been happier if people didn't have to focus on wishing me a boyfriend this year, jeez. All in all, this year has started off well. Nyosh, let's toast to a wonderful year, shall we? ^_~v KANPAI!
Listening to: "Byakudan Yuugi" - Inoue Kazuhiko There are different forms of love, but all forms of love is still love. You may love God, you may love your soulmate, you may love your significant other, you may love your friend, you may love your job, you may love sleeping, you may love simply being happy. Regardless, really, you cannot live without love. It is what fuels us to continue striving for something better in life, to continue LIVING. Maybe it is all a matter of perception, but why does it feel like love can cause so much pain? I'm happy to say that the past is over at last, but the mere memory still brings me pain. Yet, at the same time, it is because of this memory that I strive to love others. The experience would be for naught if I let it bog me down and becoming a person incapable of love, incapable of caring, and incapable of good. I have to thank them for causing me this pain, even, as I am more appreciative of the little things in life that make me happy, no matter how brief or how imaginary it is. ::lopsided grin:: Humility in the face of darkness, I've realized, is what keeps us strong. Bearing it and yet not being proud of our strengths but knowing how to appreciate others and build on our weaknesses can make all the difference. Yet, despite this pep talk to myself, I can't help feeling just a little sad. Is that okay, if I cry just for a little bit? Okay! Moping aside, bible study yesterday was helpful. There is always a tidbit of advice that pertains to the struggles I have to deal with weekly, and for that, I'm infinitely thankful. This week, the message was to have faith that God will provide for us what is best. How much peace that brings, if only we are willing to accept. On the family side of things, Uncle Dominic and Alvin are both sick, and I think the rest of the family and all will be having tuen-nin dinner tomorrow while I have nobody to spend new year's eve with. At least I'll have books to read! OH THANK YOU GABRIEL FOR THIS BOOK KYAAAA!!! I was suppressing myself from flailing over and dying from happiness, I'm so so so so so so happy, thank you thank you thank you! I... I really don't know what else to say. ♥♥♥ I'm going to read myself to sleep tonight whee! Oh and, if you're reading this, the Pavane I was talking about is by Maurice Ravel. Will let you hear next time, because I can't play it, sniffle! Anyway, in bible study, we talked about the remnant church and apostacy. Interesting topic, because it can create quite a bit of tension between the different Christian denominations, which makes me wonder exactly how important is adhering to doctrines is if it will on cause further division. I mean, we should definitely follow what God wants us to do, and if that is most clearly reflected in what we see from Jesus and the prophets before and after him, but do we have any right to say that one way of interpretation is accurate and another is not? We say we are not condemning others, but regardless of intention or not, this viewpoint is essentially saying that the other churches are not doing what God wants. Hm. I'm new to this topic, so I will think about it some more and wait to learn more about this next week. Tonight, I took Gabriel and Joycelyn to see Thoroughly Modern Millie again. Whee! Well, Joycelyn didn't go last week, but anyway, it was fantastic!! Both the casts are awesome, I'm totally floored by the dedication they have to this production. Wow, simply wow. My favourite parts remain as the Chinese brothers' song, the song where they mimicked typing by means of tap dancing, totally ingenious sound design and composition right there, and the hilariously sudden love number between the boss and Miss Dorothy. SIGH!! What fun, what music, what a performance! I'm so glad I was invited to this, I would never know of these events and probably not be motivated to go by myself, so this is always a treat. (So, you guys, stop thanking me, I should be the one thanking you!) ^___^ ああ、本当に嬉しいです～！
Listening to: "RAIN" - Sugo Takayuki Love makes one high, so much it's both a stimulant and a depressant all at once. Looking back, I have never been in love although I've loved people, deeply, wholeheartedly, and then some. It never worked out, and maybe it's because I was never "in love" with them? Perhaps. The smallest things can make me happy, but I can be saddened by the smallest things as well. This morning, life seemed to be all roses. Then things started coming at me, one by one. The world economy is bad, right? Our company is not an exception, and while my boss doesn't want to lay off anyone (heh, he might've been better off doing that), he ended up cutting all of our hours back. One hour a day, which equates to five hours a week. I AM NOT HAPPY. That's a huge portion of my salary right there! I should be happy that my boss can't possibly even think about firing me because of how much work I do for him, but woes. As if I didn't earn little enough. ::sniffles:: In light of my hours being cut back, I have also decided to cut back my food intake when necessary, and that will mean instead of napping every so often during lunch, I will resolve to nap every day so I distract myself from buying food. I wonder how long that will last, my mood will surely plummet. ::cringes:: Emails are perhaps one of the easiest things that either saves or destroys my mood. Emails from friends make me happy, but emails from previous employers who are stupid and can't keep track of their own finances and makes us work to get our own tax forms make me infinitely grumpy. I also got another email that probably doesn't mean anything, and hey I guess I did ask for it, but at the same time... Now I wish I had said something different. As people love to tell me, I always dig my own grave, don't I... Dinner tonight for pre-Lunar new year with parents, grandma, and aunt. Not happy about that either, why did they have to pick that restaurant on San Gabriel and Garvey that gave me a stomachache last time? WHY? Okay. Two more days to last, and then the weekend comes to the rescue. I miss everyone at church!!! Wow, I have no social life, do I?
Listening: "Kimi ni Okuru Uta" - Seki Tomokazu This universe is so vast, and in comparison, God encompasses all that and more. What a privilege it is for me to be a part of His grand scheme. I find myself looking to the night sky while searching for answers from within, and with the new year rapidly approaching, now is the time to have a serious talk with myself. During this period of contemplation and preparation for the new year, fixating new year resolutions are in order, as are clearing away negative energies, resolving conflicts, and being open to the endless possibilities the new year will bring! I was a little disappointed that not many of the people I asked this year have made new year resolutions, but I think I have three important things to work on, so I'm okay with myself at least. Oh great Orion, was the hunt this past year fruitful? Tell me for I yearn to hear your stories so that I may be inspired to pursue my own hunt this upcoming year. I ask the stars that every winter, and year after year, I get a dismal answer. Our world is dwindling, resources plundered, the harvest evermore meager, morale is falling, destruction eminent, and yet, why are we still here? I can't speak for mankind, but I would really like to know what my purpose is here. What plan do You have in store for me, what is it that You want from me? Have I been doing my part? Are we failing as Your people? Are we still worthy of Your love? Theoretically, all those questions are answered, yes Jesus died for our sins, for us all, and He is our salvation that we only need to accept and shall receive. Still, we continue to err, how much more suffering are we going to give Him? I can't begin to comprehend the pain, but my heart cries. So the question again, was this year's hunt fruitful? Despite the dismal answer I get every time, a quiet and plain whisper tells me not to despair. The hunt is not about the casualties and sacrifices, but it is about the process and our goal! Realistic optimism is necessary as we tread the path towards our destination, and although narrow and difficult it is, seeing the depression along the way, we must persevere. Orion will leave us again, but he returns every winter to light up the night sky. For all I know, he won't be there for all eternity, should one of the stars burn out, but that is only just one small existence, as are we. Stargazing has always been a favourite time to space out pasttime of mine, and ah, how I marvel at the universe! How miniscule we are, and yet with a reason! Any given grain of sand might seem unimportant at a first glance, but each is placed there lovingly by the hands of our Creator. Are we to cherish that, and in so, are we to cherish our own lives, no matter how great or small? Every occurrence happens for a reason, both by God's will and our own decisions, and so I must step into this new year with fortitude. Fate had it that I was born into this world, but by the power of God, I will be able to live this life the way I choose! The hunt is continuous. It never ceases, it never decreases in value no matter what circumstances befall it. The new year is the time to reassess our values and learn from past experiences. Let us hold hands and march forward with our heads held up high. Orion 待ってるよ、一緒に帰ろう！ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With that off my chest, this weekend was absolutely wonderful!! Yesterday, I got through playing piano for Sabbath service without screwing up too badly, recorded the lady playing one of Mendelssohn's "Song Without Words" on cello and piano ::SPAZZ::, am overjoyed for the instrumentalists for the women's choir, watched the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie with Gabriel, and got a slice of free gouda cheese. DID I MENTION CHEESE? ♥ Then today I, along with my cousins, took grandma out for yumcha, discovered how much dried fish stomach costs, and hung out with Miriam and Alvin afterwards. This past work week sucked, but these two days made up for everything. Did God reward my patience this week? Yes He did! ^___^ Or, as the saying goes, we reap what we sow. Regardless, I'm happy and ready to take on another week, yossha! Thank you to everyone and everything that puts up with my behaviour this week, as always. Alvin, for letting me be an annoying little cousin once in a while. Miriam, for gathering us together and treating us. Grandma, for being so happy just to see us all. My parents, for giving me the space I need to heal. Gabriel, for a wonderful night and beautiful music. Christina, for your smile and breathtaking compositions. John and Irene, for thinking of me. Cynthia, for being a caring and strong person. Seki, for the great big amounts of happiness you bring to this world. Uncle Dominic and Auntie Ruth, for loving and accepting me. Auntie Carmen, for listening and persevering. Christie, for her progress and being a living reminder. Boss, for coming back to work tomorrow. GIVE ME WORK TO DO ALL RIGHT ALREADY, THE LACK OF WORK KILLS ME!!! Sarah and Kimi, for being the dynamic duo who soothes and loves me despite my faults. Andrew, for listening and telling me a different viewpoint. Nozomi, for calling me back and letting me speak, and I hope she understands now. Bonnie, for reminding me that I have the capacity to love. To all others I failed to mention, I thank you for being in my life. I wouldn't have made it this far without all of you. Then last, but definitely not the least, thank you Jesus, for the infinite love You showed us with Your sacrifice. I love You, and never let me forget that. Never.
Listening: "Amaoto" - Ono Daisuke Plug: http://www.dragonballthemovie.com/ダメ!!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no WHAT DID YOU DO TO GOKU??? GOKU IS NOT PRETTY BOY I-AM-COOL-AND-COLLECTED WHITE BOY!!! I don't give a crap that he's being played by a white guy, BUT I DO MIND THAT THEY CHANGED GOKU INTO THE WHITE GUY, CATCH MY DRIFT??? I want my adorable and childish and vivacious Goku who gobbles down anything back! I'm a little bit too worked up over this. For the show that remains the most personal to me throughout my life, this is blasphemy. On the good sides, hey Stephen Chow, I'm glad you made it! *_* Muten Roshi played by Chow Yun Fat is really, really weird. And the trailer doesn't show his ecchi side at all. I wonder if they did away with that, but they shouldn't have... Chichi and Bulma look good. I never thought I'd ever say this, but Chichi looks hot. Korean chick plays her, what a perfect fit. ::gets bricked by her:: James Marsters as Piccolo is beyond funny to me, not because he looks funny, but because he's TOTALLY OUT OF PLACE HERE!!! Despite his role as Spike in Angel, he looks like that green demon dude in the show instead. So out of place, but hey, he can pull off a cool villain, so no complaints yet. THE DRAGONBALLS LOOK AWESOME :D!! SHINY AND ROUND AND SHINY! Who doesn't love dragonballs!? The CGs are awesome, but standard. I think the only way I can watch this is if I think of it as a spin-off sci-fi flick or something. Now to find someone who's willing to watch this with me. In theatres April 8th, it says. I... just hope I don't wind up screaming.
"Makkana Guitar de I Wanna do" - Ishikawa Hideo I don't understand the reason for this song at all, but Ishikawa sounds so funny. 8D Anyway, yesterday, I had dinner with Sheridan and we were walking around the Focus plaza in San Gabriel afterwards. You know, it's a family spot, chinese hangout area, old people as well as little kids go there too, right? Right. So in this one jewelry store display window we passed, the one facing this trendy kid stuff store, we noticed a peculiar watch on display. Well, a poster of it, which made it worse because of how BIG and glaring it was on display. Behold the following pictures, click to enlarge, and not for the faint-hearted or the innocent-minded!      Nowwwww then, our reaction: AMUSED and WHAT on EARTH??? I mean, HAHA, interesting watch, I can see someone like Miki or Onomasa sporting it, ::gets bricked:: but at the Focus plaza?? What on earth are these people THINKING displaying something like THAT at such a location!! Thus ends the highlight of this mundane week. I don't get Martin Luther King Jr.'s Day off next week either, but boy am I tempted to just not show up. As for my new year resolutions, positivity and patience is so difficult!! Everyday on the way to work, I have to verbally scold myself everytime I catch myself cursing at someone on the road or when I feel my anger swell. People drive me nuts at work too, and I'm trying to keep cool even though I want to scream. Honestly, suppressing my negative emotions has never worked quite well, but I think I might have to try to reformulate that coping mechanism now. Afterall, reanalyzing after quite some time should help me bring some new ideas to the table, right? How do people deal with negativity and lack of patience effectively???
Listening: "again" - Hoshi Souichirou This. Song. Needs to not come on. When I'm moody. Anyway, two very special birthdays are in line, and I will announce them happily. Happy Birthday to Elvis Presley!I know the man is gone, but his memory will live on forever! The king of rock and roll, the man who will never escape my memory because of my dad's obsession with him! 8D His music will always ring true, from his popular hits to his gospel music, ahhh, love. Absolute love, swoon worthy, and utterly charming, even with his pouty lips. Haha! Happy birthday to the my dad's hero, here's to Elvis! Happy Birthday to Gabriel!!! Haaaaaappy happy birthday~~~! ♥ I wish you a wonderful day with much love, and please don't freak out at the email explosion. I'll call you in the morning (time per Joycelyn, I hope it's not too early) instead of adding to the email spammage. Another year, what goals do you wish to achieve in this round? Ah, life is filled with so many possibilities, today is the present, what will you do with it? ^_~ Ahh... The thought of birthdays makes me happier at least. I'll listen to some Elvis and Rachmaninov tonight for the birthday boys, haha. Musics... ♥
Happy New Year, 2009! Hopefully, everybody had a better new year countdown than me. I forgot to count down because I was drawing the picture above, and my stomach hurts from dinner with parents tonight. Grawr! Oh yeah, click the thumbnail to view the full image. If anyone wants a print out card, email me your address, tell me, or something. Sorry for the crappy colouring and not having alternate options this year and for being super late! Has anyone made any new year's resolutions yet?
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