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Listening to: "You're in my heart" - Miyano Mamoru I have a feeling I'll be looping this song for the next WEEK. Damn you Kaji ::shakes fist:: Yunoki owns me, not you! Ahem anyway. I had Lasik today at approximately 2:30pm. It was a relatively short procedure, except for the part that they were burning my eyes for nearly thirty seconds each. The scariest parts of the surgery? I mean, there's local anesthesia so it's not like I felt any pain, but at one point when they're slicing off the top of my eyeball, I felt pressure, wetness, and BLINDNESS all of a sudden. Yup. Everything blacked out, which probably frightened me most of all. The doctor talked me through most of it so it wasn't horrendously freaky, but brr. Then the actual lasering away my cornea didn't feel like anything except for the fact that, well, I COULD SMELL MY EYEBALL BEING BURNED AWAY. Goodness. The smell of burning... flesh or something... permeated my nose and since they burned me for so long, my mind started panicking. Thank God for Seki? LOL why? Because while I was freaking out internally, I kept repeating, "Seki, Seki, Seki" as a mantra. ::rolls:: Silly? Hey, it got me through surgery. XDDD Post-op and everything went well, I could see my feet as I was getting off the chair as opposed to me waddling towards the lump of blue pre-op haha. Everything was super blurry and fuzzy, but I COULD SEE. I started wondering if this is how the blind men Jesus healed felt when the could see for the first time. Sight...! I hope everything goes well post-op, and then wow, vision. This is so unbelievably awesome. And I'll be able to wear colour contacts later on without prescription, yatta! Did I mention they gave me a sleeping pill before all of this? My body felt so heavy especially after a giant meal at In&Out consisting of Double-Double, animal fries, and a chocolate shake and was flopping about whenever I sat down. XD So I slept aplenty afterwards, and trying to keep my eyes closed most of the time, doing my list of eyedrops regimen, all good! By the way, excuse my typos. I'm typing most of this with my eyes closed and wearing rather dark sunglasses. 8D
Listening to: “Nocturne in C Major” - Edvard Grieg (played by Michael Krücker) Oh, I’m always in such bliss when I listen to some of my favourite composers’ pieces. The Romantic era draws such emotions from me, for better or for worse, and while sometimes the sadness, bitterness, and even grief that sweeps into me isn’t something I want, there are also times of tranquility, refuge, peace, tints of happiness, beauty, and the strange sensation of love. Not just the love of music, but feeling love just when listening to these pieces. Chopin, my favourite, makes me angst a little too much at times, his pieces so brilliant and filled with all sorts of emotion. Sigh. Unfortunately it isn’t in me to play like him and by no means am I that brilliant. Weep, but at least he existed and left behind such works of love! ::swoons:: I feel slightly bad that I’m babbling about Chopin while listening to Grieg. Ahem ahem, Saa and Kimi, do bring flutes (and piccolo? :D :D :D :D) when you come? Anyway, it’s a good day for contemplation and reflection. I slept on and off today because there’s no more work to go to for now. And here, I’m listening to and watching pianists beautifully unwrap the gifts of the Romantics, what a setting! And I finally replaced the batteries in my keyboard! There are things I need to take care of, like researching work visa, living permits, and such, but I can’t help but want to put them off until tomorrow! Yesterday being my last day of work, I gave the guy who is to replace me a crash training course, and since I drove him out with me to eat lunch, I was pretty much talking for nine and a half hours straight to him. My throat hurt so badly by around 2pm? He looked overwhelmed, but I think he’ll do fine after a month of picking up everything. Or less, I hope. Maybe not, he seems more artistically inclined, which isn’t the bulk of my work. Ah well, it’s over. Talking for that long was stressful though, except that I went to Cynthia’s afterwards and talked until 12:30am. 8D So I was talking from 9am until 12:30am. I think that’s a record, even for me? Not sure. Haha. 8D My poor throat. Okay, even though I love the different flavours of performers, I think I most enjoy Yundi Li at the moment. So delicate, so Chopin, and so intense and dark and emo sometimes! The only thing I’d change in him is for his intense moments be more POWERFUL, but he’s kinda frail… Can I meet this guy and like squish him? XD There’s just something in his style that triggers the fangirl chord in me. ::shameless:: How can I not love a guy who’s in love with Chopin? In work, I’ve discovered that I tend to be a workaholic and worry about everything, which is good for whatever company I’m working for, but not really that good for keeping my sanity intact. While I like to work, having a break right now is good. I can’t do anything after my surgery unfortunately, so I might become a little antsy about not being able to do anything for a while ehehe. Okay, all this beautiful music is putting me back to sleep. Off I go! Alvin is being a dear and treating me to lots of beef tonight, love him! *___*;;;; I’ll miss him, even if he’s dork of a cousin.
Listening to: "好きなのに。" - Takahashi Naozumi I went to the laser center today for consultation about getting Lasik. I'm a candidate yay, they said my cornea is thick, luckily, since my vision is so bad they'll have to shave most of it off. The thought of surgery still freaks me out, but uh, part of the tests today? The guy put anesthetic eyedrops in my eye then proceeded to poke me square in the eye with a measuring stick. UH? That was beyond freakish, I could see it squishing my eyeball right in front of my pupil. #___# The anesthetic stung a bit, but I'm totally okay with that, and if lasik's going to be anything like that, I'm down. The whole procedure sounds safe enough that I'm not terrified, but I'm still concerned. This also rules out any possibility of going to Knott's before I leave, or well, maybe RIGHT before I leave and not anytime sooner than that. No strenuous activity after surgery he said, right. On other notes, my mother is driving me insane again. What kind of parent berates their children for being happy with what they have? Isn't it usually the other way around? I'm happy living a simple life, enough to support myself, isn't that good enough? Seriously, I don't desire an ungodly amount of money and I don't care for material possessions, why on earth does she WANT me to??? What planet is this woman from, really??? The only material possession I probably want and try to acquire is a good computer system. Beyond that? I can settle for anything, really. She brought up the whole car thing, which, if you ask me, is the stupidest possession to try to get me to want, because as long as the car runs and doesn't break down and cost me trillions of dollars to fix every month, I'm good. She says I'm bad for being satisfied, WHAT THE HELL? There's no harm in wanting more, but by no means will I crave after extraneous things just because it's BETTER. She says I lack ambition and drive, sure, maybe I do, and she's never bothered to stop and wonder why I'm like that. IT'S BECAUSE SHE NEVER GAVE ME WHAT I WANTED, SO WHY BOTHER STRIVING FOR THINGS I'LL MOST LIKELY NEVER ATTAIN? Personally, I'm DAMN GLAD that I turned out this way, even if I probably felt like my life was unfair never getting things I wanted. I've been taught to appreciate what I have, and I learned that lesson well. SO WHY IS SHE COMPLAINING WHEN SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S RESPONSIBLE? And what's so bad about not striving for money and possessions? Once again, I ask, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER???? I understand the world works on money, and I'm not saying I don't need money to survive. As long as I have enough to live and find ways to amuse myself, I'm good. I'm low maintenance that way, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
At first impression, people think I'm crazy. On second thought, they all realize that it's a great thing for me. And you know? I felt the same way too. It's crazy, but it's also Great! I'm jumping out into an unknown place with the promise of my dream job, and while I'm scared, it's a fear worth braving. I'll be working as a sound designer for the sequel of my favourite game of all time, and I'll be away from the one who drives insane. I know it sounds like a silly priority, but getting away from her has always been the number one thing to take care of on my list. SO! I'm doing it, I'm going, going, (not quite gone yet but soon to be) GONE! I'm leaving behind a lot of things, and I'm not talking about possessions. My car, all the goodies I hoard to keep my sanity, and everything I've worked hard to acquire, none of those matter. I am leaving behind familiarity with this place, all the people who mean a lot to me, and probably what psychs me out the most, my pregnant friend. AHH! I know Saa laughed at me and said it's not my child, but I'm just as jittery, if not more, than the expectant mother. I try not to worry her about this issue, because, well, she doesn't need to have another stressor. Luckily, I know she's well taken care of and she'll be along just fine. On the topic of leaving people behind, there's a certain somebody who doesn't "know" about it yet, although I'm pretty sure she does and just hasn't said anything. I gave her plenty of preparation for this news, actually, so let's just hope she doesn't overreact. Missing people will be an issue for me. I'll be nearer to Seki, no matter how ridiculous the idea! But I'm not a social person anyway, being alone is all right for me. I spend Miyata's birthday alone every year, don't I? There is still so much to take care of and plan before I leave. Tomorrow, I'll find out whether or not I'm eligible for Lasik. Eep! I better not miss VBS because of this though, I was really looking forward to it too. I haven't done a list of Thankful Three's in so long, time to pick that up again. Even if for just one day.Wednesday Thankful Three1. The opportunity to have my dream job! 2. The ability to feel, no matter which way it flows. 3. Faith in God to take care of me. Ah, Nao song so beautiful and yet so painful. "Suki na no ni...."
Two super, fantastic people in one month, how much better can it get!? I’m so stoked, I’m bewildered, I’m jittery! I never knew that looking for a job would be SO exciting and rewarding!!! All I can do now is hope and pray that I didn’t disappoint and that I will indeed get a shot at this position. My dad finally leaked to my mother about it, who didn’t seem too happy about it at all. Hm, need to talk to her. I won’t know for sure about this job until the end of the week, and I’m trying to keep my expectations low so I won’t be disappointed. But really. Me, disappointed in this? NO WAY. This journey has been SO exciting thus far, even if it has to end this week, I’m already so thankful for this experience! Of course I want more, oh I want the job, I want it more than I can express, but I will praise God regardless of the outcome. This is so exciting!!! I don’t even think I can eat dinner tonight, I’m so shaken up (but in a good way)! Pray for me, and may God guide me in the path He wishes me to follow. And you know what’s even better? I may even get to work with the website!!! HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?!?
Listening to: "You're in my Heart (Short Size)" - Miyano Mamoru Despite being sick and having my doubts about going on the retreat, I'm so glad I decided to go afterall. It was so wonderful, and while people are never quite the highlight for me, the location definitely was! Oh goodness, I haven't hiked like that since Astrocamp!!! Let's not talk about how long ago that was, really. The scenery is breathtaking, the trails are tremendously fun, the forest is majestic, the streams and waterfalls cool and refreshing, the breeze a gift. Everything, everything there was beautiful. Even the bugs. God's love surrounds us, His creation awe-inspiring and a blessing to us all. As I walked back from the trail at the end of today's hike, a strong breeze blew through, and I just knew it was God. Most of the time, I see so little good in this world, but up there, everything is made crystal clear, and I know God is there, here, everywhere. The running streams relaxed aching feet, tired heads, dirty hands, and provided fun and refreshment. I thought, if I had to live out in nature, with my intense phobia and dislike for bugs and dirtiness, I would love it regardless. And as for being sick? The fresh mountain air did wonders for me. My throat feels infinitely better, and while I don't really know how my condition is, I certainly feel better for it. All that hiking invigorated me like nothing else, and I discovered that just two pieces of beef jerky can revitalize me after a strenuous hike. Go beef! The best part of it all? STARGAZING. Oh. Oh. Oh. It might be even better higher up, but, oh. This layer of heaven, in all its majesty, glorifying God up above and around, showing us proof that there indeed is order in the universe and that there has to be a loving, loving Creator who made it all. There is nothing better, calmer than to be in the dark and under the night sky. The beauty of the stars makes me feel like expressing more than anything, my aspirations and thoughts, my emotions and my prayers. I feel exposed almost, in the dark, but at the same time, it is the only place that makes me feel like it's okay to let go and let God. Ah, praise be to Him who created all things, heaven and earth and beyond. Blessed be we, His people, those who are Loved. Sugu no aitai, aitai, kimi ni...KAJI IS FREAKY!!! STOP FREAKING ME OUT KAJI! XDDD Ah but, as K-chan says, love stalker boy this song. THIS SONG, A'ITE??? Now, back to work anew tomorrow and to schedule a phone interview. X3 Excited!
 Apple cider cookies! They were supposed to be biscuits, but maybe there's too much sugar or something. Guess they taste like sugar cookies. :3 I made bite-sized chocolate biscuit things for church. They're not sweet enough, I think, but I hope people will eat them. Will take a picture of the tin I put them in when I get home. I'm sad, however, as my parents will be back on Sunday. No more cooking, no more baking when they're back. It makes me so sad as I've been having so much fun cooking lately. Maybe tonight I'll make a few corn and ham biscuits...  These look better than they taste. Unlike the ones I made for church, these have one chocolate chip apiece and, while a bit fluffy, are bitter from the cocoa powder and not enough sugar. Okay. Back to work. :P
Plug: Moriberu BLOG: Thank's AX2009!AWWWW Teiou!!! Thank you for making a post in english! I'm glad he's back home to his baby heehee. Guh, how spastic Teiou makes me. Honestly, in the entire world, there are only three people I would be absolutely honoured to meet: 1) Queen Elizabeth II, 2) Sir Paul McCartney, and 3) Morikawa Toshiyuki. Meeting Teiou made me so starry eyed and in awe that, I feel so blessed that he came to visit us!! In other words, I had hell dealing with internet at work today. Everything's fixed now, an hour and ten minutes later at least.
Listening to: "Ancient Secret" - Nanase Hikaru  Oh Kimi, you have got to come so I can make these again. ♥
Listening to: "Rakuen ~Fanatic~" - Kusao Takeshi Mmm my baby sure sings a deliriously good song to accompany my... CABBAGE SALAD!  Yup. Originally, I was chopping up stuff for okonomiyaki, but it got too late and I decided to eat the chopped stuff, which ended up tasting quite good! So, salad it is instead of okonomiyaki. Has frozen teriyaki chicken and a bit of ham, mmm. If I really crave egg later, I'll crack an egg on it, stir, and microwave. 8D I really want to make biscuits. But. No milk left, only soy milk. O_O Still basking in the afterglow of meeting Teiou. Sigh. "Love Me Tender" will be another sweet, sweet memory of mine...
I'm so excited!!! In less than 24 hours, I will be sitting in the same hall as Morikawa Toshiyuki, our BL (beloved LOL) TEIOU! It just can't get more exciting than that, can it? Actually it can, because I will be there with so many of my dear friends, and the mass of ENERGY and LOVE that we will vibrate is going to make everything even more spectacular. I'M SO EXCITED!!! I also have a billion people to call and meet up with tomorrow before the panel, which is just... crazy. XD It's crazy just how many friends of mine are super excited about Teiou as me, and it's crazy AWESOME!! GO TEIOU! His blog has a self shot and airport pictures. I'm ***so*** jittery. Okay, mass rant aside, here is my pending to-do list for AX. Crossposted for my reference.(Gah, I wish there were a extended text function for Blogspot.) Day 0 - Wednesday- buy more white bandage tape, cry... - work, get off at 6pm - call up Saku/Velessa regarding guest reception tickets - bake biscuits for Teiou :P - finish up okonomiyaki batter, or buy dinner for the sibs - pack car (don't forget shoes and sheets!) - sleep before midnight :( Day 1 - Thursday- main costume: Minamoto no Yorihisa - leave by 6:30am - meet up with Saku - badge pickup with Mikey at 9am - contact: Sangah, Diane, Young, Velessa, Sunshine, Luna, Bonnie, Kain(?) - buy guest reception tickets, if still needed (need 6 total) - Kouga Yun panel (y/n?) - look for the twins - Morikawa Toshiyuki panel @ 12:30pm - autograph session - call Kimi, find Andrew & bro - Vampire Knight gathering @ 5pm, LACC Site #1 (y/n?) - dealer's room - artist's alley to find people - get parking permit at the place we're staying Day 2 - Friday- guest reception (most likely Friday morning...) - main costume: Mitsurugi Heishirou - bring Shoujou and/or Yankumi costumes as spare - dealer's room - Tales of gathering @ 1pm, LACC Site #1 (y/n?) - Disney gathering @ 2pm, Nokia Theatre (y/n?) - open mic karaoke, whenever Day 3 - Saturday- main costume: Yunoki Azuma, ala metrosexual Corda group - maybe bring Mitsurugi costume for gathering (y/n?) - Video Game gathering, @ 11am, LACC Site #1 (we should, Corda and all) - Kingdom Hearts gathering @ 12pm, West Hall Entrance (y/n?) - Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core gathering @ 1pm, West Hall Lobby (y/n?) - Soul Calibur gathering @ 2pm, Outside South Hall Entrance (y/n?) - Air Gear gathering @ 3pm, LACC Site #2 (y/n?) - dealer's room - open mic karaoke, whenever - masquerade, IF anyone wants to go Day 4 - Sunday- main costume: Yamaguchi Kumiko (if attending at all..) - Knott's Berry Farm with Saku (y/n? when?) - Final Fantasy gathering @ 2pm, West Hall Entrance (y/n?) - autograph session if Teiou's still here Things are majorly confusing after Thursday, so we'll see what happens. Oh I'm going to be SO exhausted on Monday at work!!! 8D But well worth it. I can't wait to see all you!! If anyone hasn't told me they're going yet, now's the time to send me your contact info! And Teiou, MATTERU YO!!!♥♥♥♥♥
Listening to: "You're in my heart (Short Size)" - Miyano Mamoru I'm so proud of myself!! Ever since my parents left, I've been making my own food. A little too much mochi, but hey! I'm happy with my food, although at this rate, my AX cosplay plan won't work out.. eheh...  Not the first thing I made, but that's mochi in a bowl. I gave up making stuffed mochi because of how sticky the mochi is (duh) and how hot it was (because I'm terribly impatient), so I ended up layering the black sesame paste I made like so. I know it looks scary. Hey, nobody's eating this but me anyway.  Vegetable soup! Lots, and lots of celery and carrots, half a large onion, three super delicious roma tomatoes, and about 3/4 pounds of ground beef. No oil! But I did use garlic salt and Canadian steak seasoning, which makes rather delicious beef stew, considering how little beef went into this gigantic pot. And now for my pride and joy, SUCCESS THIS TIME!!     Such a success, I took multiple pictures. SO YUMMY!! My last pack of mix however, sad. I asked my aunt to tell my mother to bring more packets home, but don't know if my mother will be willing to. Meh. Oh well. That's my cheese mochi bread for you er me! ♥ Kimi Kimi Kimi I reeeeeally hope you'll be here this weekend so I don't polish off the entire batch by myself. 8D I want you to try it! :3
Things to read when bored at work... http://www.cracked.com/article_15706_5-pimpingest-historical-figures.html http://www.cracked.com/article_15648_five-biggest-badass-popes.html That site is awesome fun XD! Haven't read the second link yet but Tessa recommended it. Now now, back to the Merlin slash flooding my friends page, ohoho...
You know what today is?? That's right baby, it's time for LOVE!!! ♥ Happy Birthday to Paul McCartney!! ♥ Oh Sir Paul, HAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! How I wish I could really wish him a happy birthday and tell him the joy he has brought to my life!!! Let us celebrate this wonderful, wonderful man's birthday today with lots of Beatles, Wings, and his solo works!!! ♥ ♥ Happy Birthday to Yunoki Azuma!!! ♥ I know you KNEW that was coming. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUNOKI-SAMA!!!! Shall I dress up as you tonight while jamming to all your songs? (What a strange image I make...) Or shall I BLAST your glorious songs and flute repertoire for all my neighbors to hear at 10pm tonight after I get home from dinner? WHAT SHALL I DO??? Hehe, what a manic post. But hey, two of my favourite men in all the world!!!!!! Happy happy birthday, my loves, my heart goes out to you both. (Yay, one IRL and one 2D!) I'm super excited for Teiou too, LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL I SEE HIM! It's one week, six days, twenty-two hours, and two minutes as of now!
Listening to: "雪降る街のCeremony" - Hirakawa Daisuke You know, I had the dual monitors... and then I was going to shop for a video card and RAM tonight? Well. I did, and I'm $130 poorer for it, well there'll be a $20 mail-in rebate later but still. BUT. I spent all night setting up and resetting up my computer and such. AND.  I now have triple display.Not entirely done yet with backdrop rewiring and rearranging, but, yeaaaah. Overkill any? That and 2GB RAM makes me happy.
This is weird. I haven't had a gaming itch since, well, Kiniro no Corda 2. Even when I bought Encore, I didn't itch to play it, but now that Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days is in my DS, I have hives all over!! Figuratively speaking, oo~h! Weirdly though, because I want to play KH-Days, I want to play Corda again. Badly. And Kaji's "You're in my Heart" is looping incessantly in my head, aaaah! KAJI WHY KAJI!? Of all people, WHY KAJI? Shouldn't it be Yunoki, my partner in crime? Anyway. I actually have things to do today, like pick up stuff as well as shop at Fry's. Don't like shopping. I feel broke. No commission from last month either because I was in HK and the only commission I had went directly into the dual monitors I bought yesterday. Need a video card, hence shopping at Fry's today. Oh man, I want to see Kaji's smiling face and it's giving me the strangest tingles. ::crosses eyes:: Stop singing that song in my head. ::WAILS:: Wednesday Thankful Three1. Large box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes for $3.99, no tax. 2. Dual monitors! 3. Return to my normal full-time salary (8-hour workdays). Ahh, God is good. ♥ And Teiou is coming soon. ♥
Dude. Motion and stunt actors FTW! Despite my love for seiyuu, motion actors and stunt actors have my utmost respect for their hard work which has such a lack of recognition, right along with my dearest seiyuu-tachi. Mogi qualifies for both those categories, so even if I want to punch him sometimes, HE ROCKS! Awesome motion and stunt actor? Look up Reuben Langdon. I'm floored by his Dante. Seriously awesome, check him out!
Listening to: "You're in my Heart (Short Size)" - Miyano Mamoru   This blueberry muffin mix expired. I'm eating it anyway. (So are my parents, but they don't know it's expired.) Hey look, it actually came out good despite being expired! ::headdesk:: Yay! Happy. :3 The most miraculous thing about all this? The ingredients and recipe were in chinese. I always screw up recipes that are in english. Why is it that languages I can barely read turn out better? :O Thought to ponder...
Seeking a purpose.What a big yet tiny line. Where do we begin? Where does it end? Does it really ever begin or end? What purpose are we here for, is it something we designate ourselves or has God already planned that for us before we were born? It leads one to think that fate, destiny, is inescapable if we were born with a set purpose already, so in this day and age we're more inclined to support the former statement. Honestly though, if we make our own purpose as we go through life, doesn't that give us control of our own lives, meaning we can be as erratic as we like or default at saying that we don't have any purpose in life and just idle away like bums? I don't know, and I have a headache. I feel as if this angle is being forced on me and it's requiring a lot of thought which I don't have the capacity to do for the time being. I do hope that, by the end of this book, I'll have a clearer understanding instead of dwindling into nihilism. On the brighter side, the simpler side of life, Teiou will be coming to MY CITY soon! Less than a month away, my loves! Ahhh Kimi costumes, COSTUMES!!! #___# Oh and, happy belated birthday to Mamochan. ♥
 YAY!! My mochi bread was a sorta success! A little burnt, but only just a little. Otherwise, yummy and yummy! I didn't have enough parmesan cheese actually, so I subbed the rest of it with ::coughs:: Coffeemate. Yarr mate, creamer! It's the right amount of chewy inside and it makes me very happy. HAPPY! ^0^ Mochi is love!! My neighbors fed me rice when I went over to give bread. Guh, rice. T_T
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